Disco Sucks!
by PeachyKeen
Summary: This story is based on the flick 'Detroit Rock City'. Dave is a sophomore at RFK in Cleveland with his three best friends, headed to a concert that weekend...*watches readers run away in terror*
1. School Days

Disco Sucks

Disco Sucks!

Summary:A day with Dave in his sophomore year at RFK high school in the city where he grew up--Cleveland.

Dedication:KISS and the stars of Detroit Rock City--That movie fuckin' rocked!

Rating:PG-13 for language…

Other shit you should probably know:Eddie is Edward Furlong…Chris is Sam Huntington, Dave has the same lengthy hair as James DeBello used to, and Vinny is Giuseppe Andrews in this flick-fic.(I just made up a word that countless other people probably thought of before me!)

Disclaimers:I do not own KISS, or any of the members with the band from 1973 onwards…

I also do not own the movie 'Detroit Rock City'.I believe that KISS and New Line own it.

I do not own Cheech and Chong, or the comedy album from which I stole some of this story.I'm only shamelessly trying to plug you guys for the awesome, awesome stuff that you guys have done!(PS, if you are Cheech or Chong, I think that you guys should do a reunion movie!)

I also do not own ER.Many very rich people do, and they are not me.

I also don't own the KISS Army, although I am a member…

Last thing…I don't own the grassroots movement called 'Disco Sucks'.I am a member, yet I do not own it…

Okay.On with the show.

"Young man!"The substitute teacher said to a teen sleeping on his desk."YOUNG MAN!"She shouted.Dave looked up."Me?"He asked."Yes, you!Stand up, State your name, and read your essay!"She yelled at him.He stood up and faced the class."Dave Malucci.The title of my essay is, What I did over my summer vacation."He began, looking out into the class.

"What I did on my summer vacation."Dave began.

"On the first day of my summer vacation, I got up.Then I went downtown, to look for a job.Then I hung out in front of the drugstore."He said, the class beginning to lose interest.

"On the second day of my summer vacation, I got up.Then I went downtown, to look for, a job.Then I hung out in front of the drugstore."Dave said, the class now passing around joints in the background.

"On the third day of my summer vacation, I got up…"

"Young man."

"Then I went downtown, to look for, a job."

"YOUNG MAN!"

"Then I got a job.Keeping people from hanging out in front of the drugstore."

"SSSSSHHHHUUUUUTTTTTUUUUUUPPPPPPP!"

The rowdy class froze in their seats as Dave sat down.

"NEXT!"The teacher shouted.

Dave slammed his locker shut.It was another dreary ass day at Robert F. Kennedy high school.He looked at his science book and grinned.He remembered that he had gotten tickets to go see KISS at Cobo Hall in Detroit that Friday.He headed down the hall to shop class.

This teacher was a real asshole.Mr. Strickland, his name was.He didn't allow any bathroom breaks, and talking was kept to a minimum.Okay, so maybe this teacher wasn't so bad, compared to his other teachers.At least he got to screw around and get graded for it in Strickland's class.

His best friend Vinny Verudi was in this class.He wasn't much different than Dave, except Dave had hair almost to his ass, while Vinny had short hair.They goofed around with an old radio that had been taken apart.Dave picked up an old TV antenna, and slid it into place.HE turned the radio on and tuned into the local rock station.

"Hey-y-y-y-y!This is the Godfather here on Rock92.We just finished listening to the Nuge here, and we're going right back into some more music.Since they're playing at Cobo Hall Friday night, here's some KISS!"The dj said.They began to play 'Love Gun' and after the song was over they dismantled their radio and then started up on a conversation.

"Can't wait for Friday."Dave said.

"Hell yeah!"Vinny replied.

"Do you think that you can get your mom's trans am?"Dave asked.

"Prob'ly.She's gone all week anyway.I am home alone."Vinny said with a giant grin.

"Sweet.As long as we ain't gotta drive Eddie's mom's Volvo again."

Dave's remark was met by a raspy laugh from his friend.The bell rang and they walked out of class to their lockers.Their other two companions, a tall blond teen named Chris, and a short, dark haired kid named Eddie met them.They also had lockers right next to Dave and Vinny's.

"Okay.Here's the deal.We got Vinny's Trans Am, so we don't need Eddie's mom's Volvo again, thank you very much!"Dave began, looking at Eddie.

"It's not _that_ bad."Eddie mumbled.

"Dude, the license plate reads 'OB GYNO'.Of course it's that bad!"Chris said.

Eddie shot back a pissed off look.

Dave broke the bad vibrations that were coming about."Dude, I don't really give a damn if I'm driving an Edsel, a Volvo, a Pinto, or a Trans Am.As long as we get to go see KISS, I'm perfectly fuckin' happy!"

The guys nodded as the bell rang.

"Well guys, as they say in the tampon biz, See you next Period."Dave said, heading to Study Hall.

In study hall, Dave opened his journal.He had written all the lyrics to songs down.He was in a band with his friends and he was the one that was gifted with words.His mother had told him that he could spin a tale out of anything.He had written countless songs, many of which were his true feelings about things.He'd written on everything, like love, sex and lack of it, friendship, death, loss, suicide, anger…everything that could be written about.

There was a girl that sat next to him in his study hall that had a huge crush on him.She didn't know it, but he liked her too.She had written love poems to him, but never gave them to him.She also doodled things that ran along the lines of 'Beth and Dave'.

"Dave?"She whispered, twisting her long brown curls around her finger.

"Yeah, Beth?"Dave whispered back from the song he was writing about her.

"Ummm…I, uh…"She began.

"Is something wrong in the back?"The teacher asked.

"Uh, no.Beth was just asking a question."Dave covered.

The teacher returned to her work.

"Thanks.Um, do you think that we could talk after school?"She asked, getting really shy.

Dave grinned."Sure, why not?"He asked her, hardly able to contain his heart's joy.

End of Chapter 1.

So, does it suck? I think it does, but every author is judicious of their own works.This is my thought anyway.I have seen a Dave in school fic, but not like this.I took the idea from Detroit Rock City, which I absolutely love and adore.(BTW, am I the only one who can't decide if Edward Furlong or Giuseppe Andrews are hotter that James DeBello and Sam Huntington?)

So, Please Review!I practically live off of these reviews.

Oh, last thingie.Don't flame me for the stuff I borrowed, like the tampon joke and the Cheech and Chong bit.I just thought that perhaps I could bring up an interest it…Don't flame me for the way that I set up this fic…I'm trying out new styles of typing, like the separate lines between speech…


	2. You Gotta Lose your Mind, in Detroit... ...

Chapter 2- You gotta lose your mind in Detroit Rock City

Chapter 2-You gotta lose your mind in Detroit Rock City!

Dave grinned."Sure, why not?"He asked her, hardly able to contain his heart's joy.

The bell rang and Dave headed to lunch with his friends.The hall monitor, Fat Elvis, as they called him was talking to a table of cheerleading chicks.

"Ugh.Even my _dad_ can make food better than _this_!"Eddie said, picking at his meatloaf.

"This sucks.Not just the food, but school itself.I say that we ditch!"Vinny said.

"Well, count me out."Dave said.

"What?You ditch all the time!"Chris said.

"Yeah, well, Beth asked me to meet her after school today, and…"Dave said.

"So?We'll ditch now, and then come back later!"Eddie said.

"But what about Fat Elvis?"Dave asked.

"Eh…He'll go home to his beer at 2:15.I see him every day just before I egg his car."Vinny said.

"Nahh…Beth's over there, we could ask her to ditch with us!"Chris suggested.

Dave stood up and nervously walked over to Beth's table, where she was sitting practically alone.He sat down next to her.

"Beth?"He asked.

Beth jumped and smiled a little when she turned around and saw Dave.

"Yeah?"

"Me and the guys are gonna ditch the rest of the day.Take a little vacation, to say.Care to join us?"He asked.

"Umm…What about Fat Elvis?"Beth asked.

"To hell with him.If we get caught, we run to the upstairs girls crapper."Dave said.

"Let's go."She said, grabbing her purse.

The two of them walked together, and snuck out with the guys.

That's when Fat Elvis noticed 5 empty trays.He took off running through the doors, still swinging from when they left.They looked back and saw the greasy monitor running after him.They sped up and Dave whispered."2nd floor, girls' crapper."

They all headed that way and met up in the crapper.Eddie pulled out a cigarette and lit up.

"Dude, this is school!"Vinny said.

"And that makes me give a damn because…?"Eddie asked.

Dave and Beth weren't there yet, but Vinny, Eddie, and Chris were.Eddie took a long drag before giving it to Vinny.They passed it around and then they heard the door opening.Eddie stuck it into his mouth and swallowed it.It was a lost cause because it was only Dave and Beth at the door.When they entered, Eddie had a really painful, weird look on his face.Dave looked at him like he was nuts.

"Okay.Now, once fat Elvis leaves, which exit?"Dave asked.

Eddie took a drink out of one of the sinks and looked up."Back door by the parking lot.I've got the Volvo out there."He said.

"And if Fat Ass, er… Elvis is still there?"Vinny asked.

"If Elvis is still out there, then we run like hell in one path towards the back exit.You guys run across the street and hide in the bushes.I'll split off and hide somewhere until the bell rings, which is in, like ten minutes.Then, I'll go to the lot, get the Volvo, and I'll pick you guys up.Simple as that."Eddie said.

"That didn't sound all that simple, but I got it.Hide until you get the Volvo and get us."Dave said.

"Yep.That's it."Eddie said, headed towards the door."Fuck!A chick is coming!"Chris said.

They all piled into two stalls.Beth and Dave took one of their own, while Chris, Eddie, and Vinny took another.They all climbed up on a toilet together.Dave and Beth just clung to one another, praying that they wouldn't be caught.

Vinny mustered up the courage to look over the side.His eyes widened."Darcy Fredricks.I've wanted to ravish her since, like, forever!"He said.They, being total men, stifled laughter as she began to go to the bathroom.They had to bite down on one anothers' shoulders to keep from laughing when she blew ass.Just then, the toilet gave way, which in turn, caused the metal frames of the stalls to fall forward.The hole was spraying water everywhere, and Darcy was screaming bloody murder.Dave and Beth took the opportunity to get the hell out.Vinny apologized to Darcy as they ran the hell out of there.

Just then, Elvis noticed them.They nodded at one another and took off, headed down the stairs.Elvis grabbed onto Chris' leg, but Chris gave a powerful kick backwards, effectively knocking Fat Elvis down.They took off running again, Eddie leaving the group down another hall.Elvis was torn as to where to run first.As a result, he got farther behind the kids.

As predictable, Fat Elvis ran after the group of teens, allowing Eddie to get to his van.

"I'll catch you little punks!!!"Elvis screamed as he ran down the hall.

The kids turned to another stairwell and ran into an AV club member, who was innocently wheeling a projector to a math room.

"HEY!I'm responsible for that!"They greasy teen said.

The projector was unhurt, until Elvis came down the stairs behind the group.He tripped over it, got mad, and then slammed it into the floor a la Paul Stanley. {With a Guitar.}

"Fucking PUNKS!"Elvis yelled, heading after the kids.

He saw them heading for the exit in one big group.They beat foot; leaving Elvis drop to his knees screaming, 

"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The group ran across the street and waited for Eddie and his van.They high-fived and made jokes about him.

"Man, Elvis is so fuckin' stupid!"Vinny said.

Dave laughed."Yeah.We still gotta put up with him for 3 more fuckin' years!" 

Beth was about to say something, but Eddie pulled up in his mom's Volvo."Alright.Let's go!"He said, Elvis running over to them.They all piled in, Vinny up front, and Beth squished between Dave and Chris.They put in an 8-track, and listened for a while, and then parked it at Eddie's house, and walked down the street to his Trans Am.They all piled in, in exactly the same positions.

Vinny turned around."Beth Stern, eh?"He asked.

Beth nodded shyly.One period she's unpopular, the next she's hanging out with 4 other guys.That would make any girl nervous.

"I'm Vinny Verudi, and the moron driving is Eddie Forman."He said.

Beth gave a subtle, shy 'hello' in reply.

"I'm Chris, but you probably don't care."Chris introduced.

Beth smiled."I care, even though you probably won't hang out with me past today."

Dave smiled a little."Untrue!I'll hang out with you!"

Beth blushed a little, as did Dave as he realized he was letting on.

They stopped at a mall halfway to Detroit to call Beth's mom and get some food.

"Hey, mom?I'm staying with a friend tonight.I won't be home until tomorrow afternoon.Girl Stuff."She said sweetly.

There was some excited chatter in the phone.

"It's just outside of Stoutsville**and her name is Kate."Beth said.

More chatter.

"Oh, you want to talk to her mother.Okay, hold on please."She said into the phone.

She beckoned to a woman they had flagged down and paid 5 bucks to.She took the receiver.

"Hi, I'm Angela, Kate's mother.We will be more than happy to keep her, and I will assure you that Kate and Beth will be home, with supervision, and NO boys."She said.

More, thankful chatter.

"You're welcome.Buh-Bye now!"The woman said, hanging up.

They took the pizza they'd bought and got into the Trans Am they had switched with earlier on.

They were almost to Detroit when they had one slice left.Chris was working on it, when the cheese came loose and flopped on the box, almost falling onto the light interior.

"ACK!You fuckin' Moron!Throw it out before it stains my interior!This is a brand new Car!"Vinny shrieked.

Chris grinned and put his hands carefully out the T-tops and shot the pizza into the Camaro behind them.The whole car laughed as they swerved.The Camaro tried to catch up, but Vinny was faster.He had floored it just after Chris had thrown the pile of shit out he top.It wasn't long before they pulled into Detroit.IT was only sunset, and it looked Beautiful.Dave stood up and pulled Beth with him as they leaned up through the T-tops.

"Beth?While we're up here, I want to tell you something."He said.

"What?"She asked.

Just then Eddie slammed on the brakes, causing them to nearly fall.

"Nevermind.It's not that important."Dave said, with a half-hearted smile.

"Welcome, Ladies, to the Motor City."Eddie said.

They looked around at one another and then began to sing;

"You gotta lose your mind in Detroit…Rock City!"They sang in unison.

End of Chapter 2:

Hmmm…Haven't decided if Dave will do the 'contest' or not.Cause then he's gotta do stuff with Shannon Tweed.But he's in love with Beth, not Shannon….Well, anyway, if you see the movie, it might help you a little more in understanding the story, but if not, just go on your merry little ways…It don't bother me any….

Oh yeah.Stoutsville is a tiny little town in Ohio.I think it's closer to Toledo than Cleveland, but… Who the hell cares?

Forgot this last time:

Quote:From Detroit Rock City (I just watched it, okay?!)

Lex:"At least _my_ mom didn't give birth to me while she was on LSD."

Trip:"'Shrooms!!!"


	3. Calling Dr. Love (Rage Against The Dying...

Chapter 3- Calling Dr

Chapter 3-Calling Dr. Love

"Okay.Now, we have 3 hours to wander around Detroit.First thing, Vinny, we need you to give us the tickets."Dave said.

Vinny went into the glove compartment.No tickets.

"Uhm…Pop the trunk."He said, nervously.He checked the trunk, but with no avail.

"Check your clothes."He asked, breaking into a sweat.They checked their clothes.

"Anyone got them?"He asked.

"Nope."

"None."

"Nuh- uh."

"Nada."

Eddie looked totally pissed off.The whole group stood in silence, until finally Eddie lost it and pounced on Vinny.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"He yelled, choking his friend.Dave and Beth got on one side, and Chris got on the other and pulled Eddie off of Vinny.

"Dude, forget it.We have 3 hours left to get tickets.We *are* going to that concert, and we *are* going to have a kick-ass time!"Dave said.

They all split up, save for Beth, Dave, and Chris who were together, for the moment..They looked over a little and saw a gathering of women near a church.They realized that it was 'MATMOK' of 'Mothers Against The Music Of KISS.'They walked closer and noticed that Chris's mother was there.She noticed her son and ran up to him.

"I don't want to even think about how you got here, but you are coming with me!"She yelled, dragging him into the church.

"Father, Please, you have to help my son!He's trying to go to a Kiss concert!"She said.

"Okay.Come back later!"The minister said.

Chris was put into the confessional and he waited for the minister.

"Forgive me father, for this is my first confession in a really long time."

"That's quite okay, son.Now, do you have anyting else to confess, rather than losing KISS tickets?Like, I don't know, Carnal Knowledge with the neighborhood girls?"

"No.Just the tickets."Chris said, with disgust in his voice.

"Well, I think that you should come up with something more juicy than KISS tickets."The minister said, slamming the window shut.

"Fuck."He whispered, hitting his head on a lamp.

Just then, a girl came into the confessional.He recognized her as the girl he was in love with."Christopher?"

"Karley?Are you waiting for a confession?I thought you were Jew-"

"I love you, that's all I want to confess."She said, kissing him, and pulling him to the floor.

Meanwhile:

Beth and Dave were walking around together, when they came across a guy hawking tickets.

"Hey, you lovely couple."The guy said, not noticing the blushing that came from the teens."Wanna buy two tickets to see the greatest fuckin' rock and roll band ever?"He asked. 

"How much?"They asked.

"Ehhh, couple's special.75 bucks a ticket."He said.

"All I got's 100."Dave said.

"Well, you can get the money across the street.They're havin' a strip contest.All you gotta do is drop your pants, shake your ass, and get paid an extra 100 bucks."

Dave turned even redder."Man, I have stage fright…And, they're playing fucking _Disco_ in there!"He said.

"Shit or get off the pot!"The guy said.

Dave smiled."Sure thing!"

He and Beth walked across the street into a little strip joint called 'It's Raining Men!'Dave shuddered a little as he realized what he was doing, and exactly _who_ was going to watch him strip.He handed the guards his and Beth's fake ID's, and they accepted them.They went in and Dave winced as he saw the almost naked stripper on stage.

"Oh God.I have to do this?"He asked.

They sat down at the bar, where a shirtless muscular guy named 'Dickey' waited on them."Anything you want to drink?" He asked them.

"Man's drink."Dave said. 

"Wine Cooler."Beth said.

They were served and Dave went to pay him.

"Lady at the end of the bar, sends her love."Dickey said.

Dave looked over to a gorgeous blonde woman, who was sitting seductively with one knee bent, and resting on the stool next to her, and the other stretched out onto that stool.

He smiled and turned back to his drink.He sipped it and then spit it out in a fury.

"What the hell is this?"He asked, wiping his mouth.

"Bourbon on the rocks."Dickey said.

Amanda, the girl across the bar smiled slightly.

"Whoa.I think it's gone _bad_!"He said.

Just then, the man introduced him."If you like birds, then you'll like this," He began pointing to his own pants."It's just a swallow." The crowd of horny women laughed at this joke."Give a round of applause for 'Hawk'."He said.

Dave panicked.That was his name!"Oh, shit!"He whispered.

"C'mon!Don't be a wussy!"Dickey said.

Dave grinned."I won't Dickey!"He said, putting his arm in the air to signal his readiness.He stood up, took a step towards the stage, and fell.

Vinny walked past the same man that was hawking tickets.

"Hey, man.Wanna buy two tickets to see the greatest fuckin' rock and roll band ever?"He asked.

"Naw, man.I'm gonna find some kids and beat the shit outta them for their tickets."

"Fuckin' Burnout!"

Vinny ignored this and continued on down the street until he reached a convenient store.He first noticed the kids outside.They had a Stretch Armstrong toy and were stretching it as far apart as they could.

"Hey you little fuckers!Gimme your Kiss tickets, or pay the price!"He said.

"We don't have Kiss tickets.Kiss Sucks!"The brats said.

Vinny grabbed their toy."You'd better run before I knock you silly for saying that!"He said, as they ran off.He put the toy into his pocket and entered the store.He headed to the back where he saw a little blond boy.

"Awww, fuck!That was my last ball!"

"Hey, you little Punk!Gimme your KISS tickets or your life!"

"My big brother is holding onto them for safekeeping.Let me get him for you!"

He turns around to face the front of the store.

"HEY CHONGO!"

A 6'5 man turns around.He must weigh about 250, give or take.Vinny's eyes widen as he realizes one thing.

He's in deep shit.

Eddie walked around to try and sneak in.He managed to hop the fence inside and walk around, but some security officers found out that he didn't have a pass on.He picked up Peter Criss' bass drum and carried it on his shoulder to hide his face from the guards.He lost his balance and then he dropped the drum and it rolled into one of the amps, causing it to be blown out.

The security guards chased him, but the chase was two middle-aged old men versus a young, able-bodied man.You do the math.Anyway, Eddie slid down the rail between two escalators, which neither of the men could do.He fell into a pile of hookers, and the whores all began to fight.When the men separated all the girls, they realized that he was nowhere to be found.

"Now where the hell is he?"

They began to run, and Eddie grinned as he looked down from a ledge above them.He snaked his way onto a heating ducks and crawled along that until he came to a backstage party.He watched as some groupies went into Kiss' trailer.

"God, what I wouldn't give to be in that trailer."He whispered.Just then, he looked down into a hot tub with one guy, and plenty of women."Lucky Bastard."Just then, the heating duct fell.He heard the bolts flying out, and finally the whole contraption fell, taking him into a huge Ice sculpture.The guards caught him and threw him over a fence into an alleyway.

"Shit."

End Chapter 3- 

So, what do you think?I'm having fun with this fic.The next chapter is the rest of these mishaps.I.E.you'll getthe conclusion of Dave and his striptease (!), Vinny and his Smiley Mart problems, Eddie and his backstage sneak, and of course, Chris and the confessional.

It's still small, and has a few bugs, but missmarymolkoer.moonfruit.com 

It's my website, and I need fanfics to put up.Submission info is there, so….

Last thing…I'm becoming more and more interested in poetry lately, and two of my favorite poets are Jim Morrison, and Dylan Thomas.Since I packed up my Jim Morrison poetry book, then I'll have to give you Thomas' 'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night'. 

Disclaimer:Written By Dylan Thomas, published in 1952.
    
    "
    
    Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night 
    
     
    
     
    
    Do not go gentle into that good night,
    
    Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
    
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
    
     
    
    Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
    
    Because their words had forked no lightning they
    
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    
     
    
    Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
    
    Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
    
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
    
     
    
    Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
    
    And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
    
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    
     
    
    Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
    
    Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
    
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
    
     
    
    And you, my father, there on the sad height,
    
    Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
    
    Do not go gentle into that good night.
    
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.'"


	4. Let's Put the X in Sex (Not about Sex!)

Chapter 4- Lets Put the X in Sex

Chapter 4-Lets Put the X in Sex

Dave stood up and promptly fell.When he stood up, they began to play the disco song, Boogie Shoes.(It's the background for that one Trick Daddy song…Ewwww….) He was piss drunk, and the world was spinning for him.He slowly made his way through the crowd of women and climbed up the stairs and onto the stage.Just then, he felt it coming back up and he grabbed an empty beer pitcher and began to throw up into it.He kept on barfing, until the pitcher was nearly overflowing.He set it back onto Dickey's tray and stood up.The DJ spun a Kiss record for him.Strutter began to come out of the speakers and he pulled off his jacket and threw it on top of an old lady in the front row.

He slowly tugged his t-shirt out of his pants.He turned around, giving them a view of his ass, making the crowd begin to cheer.He pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it into the audience, looking at Beth, with a slight grin on his face.

Beth smiled.It isn't every day that you get to see your crush taking off his clothes.She looked at Dave and smiled as he unbuttoned his jeans.He seductively slid the zipper down slowly, back up an inch, and then down once again.Beth jumped as she felt a hand tap her shoulder.

"Hi, I'm Amanda.Amanda Finch."The woman from across the bar.

"Beth Stern."She said.

"You're not legal are you?"Amanda asked.

"No.I'm just here with him to get concert ticket money."

"Mm.Are you two…dating?"

"No, but I like him."

"Mm.I think that he likes you, and perhaps you should tell him this."

"Really?"

"Yes, dear.Oh wow."

Dave had slid the jeans down his legs, to reveal the front side of his Boxers.There was a Gene Simmons head and a tongue that slid downwards; as if to point out his nether parts...not that they needed much pointing out, mind you.He turned around and bent over, causing the women to laugh and cheer at the sight of his young ass.The ass end of his boxers read 'Kiss This', and most of the women wanted to.He turned around and tried to pull his jeans off around his boots.He hopped up and down on one foot, finally pulling the leg of his pants off of his leg.He had lost his footing and fell off of the stage.

"Owww."He moaned.

"God Damn.I thought you were staying home all weekend."Chris said to his girlfriend.

"Yeah, but my dad told me I had to visit my Uncle Andy this weekend."Karley said, brushing her red hair out of her face.

"Yeah.You know something?"

"Hmm?"

"Church will never be the same."Chris said with a dreamy look in his eye.

Just then, the door to the confessional slammed.

"Shit!Get down."

"You'd better have something really sensational for me this time."The priest said.

"Okay, you got me.I'm really ashamed to be telling you this…I went to my cousin's wedding.One of the bridesmaids asked me if I wanted to take a bath.So we went to this little hotel that charges by the hour…"

"This is terrible."The minister said, getting the same look that Chris had moments before.

"And when she peeled off that gown, you will not believe what she was wearing underneath…"

"Leopard skin leotard?"

"Oh no."

"A Teddy?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Crotchless panties.A leather bustier?Silk underwear…"

The couple took this opportunity to sneak out of the confessional.

"Well, Chris, I'll see you in school on Monday?"

"As usual.Locker?"

"Okay.Bye."Karley said, kissing Chris one last time.

Chris then found his mother at the MATMOK Mothers Against the Music of Kiss meeting.

"This asshole was trying to mug me for my ticket!"

"That's bullshit!I said, 'Hey little boy, do you know where I can take a piss?'"

"He's fucking lying."

Chongo punched Vinny in the gut, causing to flop on the floor.

"You got 15 minutes to get us 200 bucks, or your ass is grass, my weaseley little friend."

The troupe of bullies left the store, to wait in the alleyway.

Vinny silently headed up to the comic book rack again, and flipped through it.In his mind, he was debating what he should do.He looked up at the pretty teen cashier, and then back to the magazine.Just then, three floating heads popped up.There was Dave, Chris, and Eddie.

Eddie-head:Man, I can't believe that even _you_ would stoop this low.

Chris-head:Look at that girl, Vin, I mean, she could be scarred for life.

Dave-head:Man, come on.I mean, you're gonna get your ass kicked nine ways to Sunday, but it's better than being the bitch of a guy named 'Killer' for the next 3 to 5.

Vinny couldn't take it anymore."ALRIGHT EVERYBODY JUST SHUT UP!"

The whole store looked at him.

He coughed loudly to distract them.They all rolled their eyes, thinking he was a total dumbass.

He went to make his move, pulling his ski-cap down over his face.He put Stretch in his pocket and then stepped up.A man, in his 30's, walked in with a shotgun.He looked almost exactly like Vinny, same shaggy black hairstyle, except older with a goatee.

"Everybody kiss the floor!Now, pretty lady, I want you to empty the cash register.You know who I am, what this is and what I'll do if you don't."

"Please, I'm just a high-school kid!"

"Fuck School!I just went through the motions until I was old enough to drop out!"

Vinny had an epiphany just then.Those were his exact words when school started last month.He had to stay in school.He knew it.

He stood up."Stop!"

"Huh?"

"Leave that lady alone."

"Take your piece out, and throw it down."

"You take _your _piece and throw it down."

"You know what, little man, I don't think you _have_ a piece!"

"Neither do I!"Vinny yelled.

"For the last motherfucking time, take the piece out, throw it on the ground, or your mom's gonna need Mr. Clean to get the _brains_ outta your ski-cap!"

Vinny knew he'd get killed if he didn't.He pulled out Stretch Armstrong, causing the other man to break out into laughter.Vinny took the chance to grab the other end of the gun.They played tug-of-war, and Vinny pulled on the gun, simultaneously letting go of the toy, and that sent the robber flying into a display of cans.He slung the shotgun over his shoulder and smiled at the cashier.

She jumped over the counter and ran into his arms.She kissed him hard enough for him to pull the trigger, putting a hole into the ceiling.Neither noticed.

"Oh, What's your name?"

"They call me Doctor Love."

She kissed him again and scrawled her phone number onto his jacket.

"Call me, Doc!"She whispered.

~~ Later~~

"130, 140, 150.There, that's all I got!"

"Tsk…Tsk…Tsk…I sure wish things would've worked out for you, my weasely little friend."The kid said, taking Vinny's wallet.Chongo punched Vinny in the gut, sending him flying into the wall.He pulled the toy out of his pocket.The little brats he'd scared away came back and took the toy.They threw a cupcake at his head and laughed as they ran off.

"Dammit."He whined.

Something growled in the distance."Fuck?"Three humongous rottweilers came over to Eddie.Eddie's eyes widened, and he shrunk back slowly."God, please.If you get me out of this, I will never pull my pork again!"He prayed in frustration.Just then there was a hellish growling noise that came from the alleyway next to it."What now, wolves?"From around the corner came a little Bassett hound with a Frisbee in its mouth.He ran up to Eddie and dropped the Frisbee at his feet.Eddie picked it up and the dogs immediately sat down, waiting for the throw.Eddie hurled it away, sending the dogs after it.He noticed a little bit of light peeking out from a crack in the wall.He looked in and noticed two criminals stripping cars.He looked in again and saw Vinny's Trans Am.

"Well I'll be a son of a bitch."

"Hi Mom.Can I have my drumsticks back?"Chris said, grabbing his mother's megaphone.

"Christian Jeremiah Huntington!I don't know how you got out here, but you are in-" She began, furious and uncaring of the crowd around her.

"Trouble?HA! I've been in trouble for the past six hours.I really don't give a damn anymore!Now, last time I'll ask it nice, may I have my drumsticks back, please?"

"What has gotten into you?"

Chris smiled inwardly.He took the megaphone and yelled into it.

"I JUST LOST MY VIRGINITY IN A CONFESSIONAL!LORD HAVE MERCY!!!!"

He lowered the megaphone."May I have my drumsticks back?Please."It wasn't really a question.It was more of a demand.

His mother handed him one good drumstick, and one broken one.

"Cute."He said, tossing the wrecked one into the trash basket of KISS memorabilia.

"Christian?"She asked as he hopped off the stage.

"Yeah, mom?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"And the winner is…Sir Loin!"The announcer said.Dave groaned in defeat as he walked off stage and into the bar.Beth blushed as she walked back up to him."That was…Good."She said.Dave blushed a bright shade of red, but it was unnoticeable in the bar, as the whole place was covered in neon signs.

Amanda walked up to him."Don't be so forlorn."She said, pulling money out of her purse."Here's the money you needed…For whatever it was for, sweetie."She said.Dave smiled."I-I can't."He said."Of course you can, now do it!"Amanda told him, firmly."Thanks, ma'am."He said, kissing her hand and heading for the exit.

They headed out and saw the guy across the street, selling the tickets."FUCK, NO!THAT CAN'T HAVE BEEN THE LAST TICKET!"Dave shouted."SHIIIT!"They screamed as he took off.

"Well, at least we're still together."HE said.

"About that…"

"Yeah?"

"I've liked you for a really long time, but I've always been too afraid to show it."Beth said in one breath.

"Wow.I've always liked you, but have been to shy to show it."Dave blushed, leaning in and pressing his lips against hers.

Eddie walked into the garage.

"Hey, grease monkeys.I've come for the car."

"Ha.You were such a young as swipe."They said, getting ready to slam him in the head with a wrench.Eddie whistled for the rottweilers and the Bassett hound, and they showed up, growling.

The greasers ran into the back office.

"One step outta that office, and your asses are Alpo."Eddie said, lowering the Trans Am and pulling out of the garage.

They reconvened at an intersection in front of the Concert Hall.

"So, any luck?"Vinny asked.

"Yeah.But it was all _bad_!"Chris said.

"Well, not entirely."Dave mumbled.

"I found and saved your car from a couple of greasers."Eddie mentioned.

"Tickets?"

"No."

"Nay."

"Nuh-uh."

"None."

"What the fuck are we gonna do?"

Will our heroes get to see KISS?Will Christian's mother ever allow him to see the light of day?Will Dave ever get to boink his girlfriend?Stay tuned to find out!(** Peachy Shakes her head at what she just wrote**)

Quote:

"I don't wanna be Buttercup!I prefer the name Pansy!!!!"

-My friend Andy when my friend Amanda gave us new names.I was Bueno Snicklefritz, Andy was Buttercup/Pansy, Becky was Girl Who Barks at Trees, (Or was that Suzy?)…

Name Change:

I'm getting Tired of PeachyKeen, so I might change it…What should it be?

1.)Miss Mary Molko

2.)Buenos Snicklefritz

3.)Dumbass

4.)Thorn_In_Your_Ass

Website:It has the first chapter of 'Disco Sucks' on it so far.I'll post stories on a place like Yahoo, and put links on the Main site.**This site needs to be used with Flash, and has to be full screen to work properly.If it ain't fullscreen, then it looks really tiny and you need to zoom in.I need submissions!!!

Missmarymolkoer.moonfruit.com

Bye!Read…Review… etc…


	5. Shout It Out Loud

Last Chapter---   
  
"What the fuck are we gonna do?"   
  
Just then, it looked as though a light bulb appeared over Dave's head.   
  
"I say, we just beat the living shit out of each other, and then say we got mugged. They have to let us in, man. They have to!" He said, hoping it would be convincing.   
  
"Oh, yeah, right." Vinny said, running a hand through his shaggy black hair.   
  
"Hey, it's worth a shot, right?" Eddie said, hauling a punch into Dave's face. The guys beat the living shit out of one another, until they could barely recognize one another's faces. Then they ran off to the door, as the ticketmen were shutting the door to the public.   
  
"WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIT!" Eddie shrieked as the gang ran to the door.   
  
"Dude, some big motherfuckers just grabbed us and swiped our tickets!" Dave said, gasping for air.   
  
"Yeah, sure kid." One of the dorky doormen said, beginning to shut the huge doors to Cobo Hall.   
  
"What, are you fucking kidding me?" Chris said, spitting blood onto the ground.   
  
"It was those Assholes right there! Number 13!" Vinny yelled, pointing to the kid he'd met in the convenient store earlier. Chongo and his gang turned around.   
  
"Stop them!" The other dork said.   
  
"You'll find my wallet with my KISS army I.D. and 200 bucks." Vinny said.   
  
The Door dudes found it and then handed the tickets, and the wallet to Vinny. The guys went into the concert hall and to the third row. They watched the opening band, (Insert the name of a band that toured with KISS in 1977-8- or 9."   
  
They stopped and hugged one another when the band introduced themselves.   
  
"AALLRIGHT DETROIT! YOU WANTED THE BEST..." Gene Simmons yelled, the crowd getting even more pumped up. When Gene finished the intro, Ace Frehley went into a guitar riff for Shout It Out Loud. The band played another one of their legendary ass kickin' concerts and at the very end, Peter Criss threw his drumstick and it landed smack into Chris' hand. Then Paul smashed up his guitar and he threw the pieces out into the audience. Dave caught the neck and held onto it for his dear life.   
  
After the concert, they all walked back to their car. Dave and Beth held hands, Chris stared in amazement at the drumstick, Eddie searched for the keys, and Vinny stared at the night sky. They were in serious trouble with their parents, but who the hell cared? They drove home in silence, each one of them worn out and ready to crash in Dave's basement.   
  
Dave got in a little bit of trouble, but he wormed his way out of it with words, kisses, and an I Love You. Beth's parents didn't notice she was gone, as they had left that weekend anyhow. Vinny was grounded for a month and a half, but it didn't really stop him. Chris and his mother started out a new relationship, and were better off after that. In fact, his mom is slowly becoming a KISS fan herself after she realized that KISS is just a fantasy form of entertainment and commercial marketing for teenagers. Eddie also got in trouble, but wasn't punished. His parents believe that punishment will only cause resentment and hostility, which is unnecessary if we are to create a world of peace and love.   
  
  
All in all, this story (and the movie it came from) just proves that kids will never change. They will always raise hell, and if you try to blame their behavior on music, then you may want to have yourself analyzed. If you can't tell your kids the difference between fake and real, then you need help. If you think KISS is evil because they look like comic book characters, or that Eminem is a bad influence, then you are a bad parent. If your kid takes after Eminem, then it is because you weren't there for him/her. You weren't there to show them love, and reality. You weren't there and that is why they do the wrong stuff. Don't blame Marilyn Manson, KISS, Ozzy, KoRn, Eminem, or any other musician for your kids' behavior.   
  
A Quote: This one is from the Fox Sitcom, 'Titus' on Wednesday at nine, and Tuesday at 8:30.   
  
(Ken) Jesus was laughing when I went into the light! (Titus) He was laughing because you were trying to get into Heaven!   
  
Sorry for such a crappy ending. I just have to finish all of these stories before I work on an original story I have in mind. Sorry for this, and reviews are Greatly appreciated.   
  
Love,  Peachy Keen   
  
I decided to redo a nickname thing. I am not sure, but what do you guys think of 'ThreeHeadedMonkey'? That's the name for my new website since Moonfruit is doing a pay service now. I'm 15, and I am flat broke. I can't pay for much other than a pair of good winter boots. Western New York is gonna get pounded to death this year...   
  
And thanks to The She Devil Dave Lover... :-) for helping me post this as my god damn word processor took a shit... :-(. Thanks, Tara. 


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